The Big E(at)

Here’s the thing with New England. Our states are really small. The only way getting across the state of CT is going to take you more than 90 minutes is if you do it on a razor scooter while towing a grown elephant on a skateboard. I have no idea where that idea just came from. Pardon me while I write this after spending all day out and about on roughly 3.5 hours of low-quality sleep.


The point is… small states means it doesn’t make much sense for each state to have its own fair, so all of them get together and just throw one big one, the Big E. I know, everything is bigger in Texas, but bacon donut cheeseburgers and fried jellybeans happen up here too.

Some 15 years ago, my high school friends and I started to go to the Big E for marching band. As if you didn’t think I was a big enough nerd, picture me at 13 years old with braces and a french horn in a band uniform – ooohh yeah. It somehow turned into an annual trip that lasted throughout college and into our 20’s. Today was it. How appropriate that we chose to go the day before I embark on 60 junk-free days of eating.

You don’t even want to know what I ate today. It will probably make you cringe. Wait, yes you do. Someone reading this is definitely going to feel a lot better about that one last Twix bar they ate this afternoon once they scroll down and see everything I ate WITHOUT feeling sick to my stomach by the day’s end. Here goes.


First stop… Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast. Not pictured, the Ham Egg & Cheese on an English muffin that also went down the hatch. Off to a solid start. Minus that part about the blurry highway photography.
Head to the Vermont building, where the first official fair food of the year is everything I dreamed of and more… warm apple pie with a nice hunk of Cabot sharp cheddar cheese. Cheese & pie: don’t knock it til you try it.
BACON S’MORES. You read that right. Sharing is caring… both Laura and I got 2 bites each, although I could have easily snarfed down the other half on my own.
I was so excited about lunch that I forgot to take a photo. Here’s the evidence of what WAS a fresh tomato basil mozz salad from the CT building.
Next stop – Sam Adams beer garden. Only place you can get their summer ale after Labor Day. #win
With boozes comes baked potatoes. Billie’s baked potatoes to be exact. I really don’t know why anyone waits in a 70+ person deep line at the Maine building when you can get the same thing about 30 steps away in less than half the time. //end rant
Aaaaaand that just happened.
I have a penchant for abnormally blue-colored frozen desserts and adult beverages. This time, it happened in the form of a vanilla ice cream with cookie crumbs in it so aptly named… Cookie Monster.
One mozz stick at the Panda Bash last night and for some reason I decided I wanted more. Wasn’t even hungry at this point. That obviously didn’t stop me. 5 mozz sticks and marinara down, I say NO MORE food I’m done for the day.
What a bold-faced lie that turned out to be. Kathryn got a really delicious looking dish of ice cream. Julie and I wanted delicious ice cream too, so we applied a life lesson learned in nursery school… sharing is caring.
Then Laura drove her Mom’s minivan into the front yard. On purpose. 100% sober. I guess you had to be there. The Odyssey went on its own little odyssey and THAT was my day.



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