I love easy recipes as much as Brick Tamland loves lamp. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, drop everything and watch Anchorman NOW.

It ought to be common knowledge by now that my making fancy fussy recipes is the exception, and making stupid easy stuff is the rule. I really like it that places like Five Guys and In-N-Out wrap burgers in lettuce. I like to wrap meat in lettuce too. The latest combo appearing on my lunch breaks? A de-breaded version of a Turkey Club Sandwich.

California Club Wraps

• Whole Romaine Leaves
• Thinly sliced Turkey
• Tomato
• Bacon
• Avocado
• Thinly sliced Cheese (if you’re into the dairy thing)

Fasten your seatbelts, here come the instructions that are so easy you’ll fall out of your chair!

Lay the romaine leaves flat. Lay all the other ingredients on top. Roll up.

Stick with toothpick. Repeat. Eat.

I know, I know… I used invisible tomatoes in these photos. This is what happens when you run out of an ingredient but can’t wait another day or else your avocado will turn to mush.