Jesus Christ. Happy Birthday, dude. I tried to make some really awesome bacon biscuits for my family in your honor. Somewhere along the road from step 1 to done I incurred the wrath of your Old Man. I know this because my microwave began spewing smoke in all directions. He must frown upon the notion of nuking spuds. What can I say… I was in a time crunch.

It all started when my Mom asked me what I was contributing to Christmas dinner. Umm… Aside from the wine? PaleOMG to the rescue. Time for me to try my hand at Bacon Chive Sweet Potato Biscuits. Things got interesting around 9:37a this morning.

Here I am just following along the recipe, growing impatient that my sweet potatoes in the oven still hadn’t gone squishy. I’m now racing against the clock to get these things done before brunch. Oven is only kinda sorta working. I need results, fast. Microwave to the rescue, right? At first, yes. Score. Should have done this in the first place.

Long story short, I tried to nuke a few leftover pieces of potato to see if I could make it to the 2 cup equivalent the recipe called for. THIS happened.

You know you set the microwave for too long and burned the potatoes when smoke leaks from all sides of the door and your first gut reaction is to run and immediately take the batteries out of the smoke detector as not to startle the neighbors. Then you ventilate. After that, I didn’t have the complete 2 cups of sweet potato mush. I improvised quantities of the rest of the ingredients from there. They came out alright.

Christmas lesson learned? Don’t leave your cooking until the last minute, and blondes + microwaves = questionable results.

Merry Christmas!