No, I’m not writing about sesame seeds. Nor am I writing about Sesame Street. ‘Open sesame’ is the first term I thought of with “open” in it, so that wins. Open for business, the US Open… still not good enough.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the award for The Most Pointless and Irrelevant Opening to a Blog Post about the 2013 CrossFit Open goes to… Me!

13.4 just got announced and I haven’t made a peep about my thoughts on the Open since it began. Okay, so maybe I have on facebook. The blog slacker? It’s me! I’ll get better in April. Promise. Fun fact – before CrossFit, I used to do Spinning all the time. Between one of my instructors and I, we managed to invent the Charity Cycling Challenge. The 6th annual Challenge is taking place this Saturday. Needless to say, I’ve been a bit occupied getting a whole bunch of ducks in a row in real life.

Moving on now…

13.1 – Burpees and Snatches
My Score: 150 reps. #918 in the Northeast Region.

BEFORE 3-2-1-GO: Party at CF Vitality! I’ve worked out there! Yay! This does not impact my score whatsoever! They closed the shop upstairs before I got to buy a t-shirt! Still not affecting my score! Did you know they work out on astro turf in there? Burpees suck. It must be true, I’ve read it on the internet. They can’t put anything on the internet that isn’t true. Castro says AMRAP, I think okaaayyyy… Castro says seven- I think… aight not awful, Castro finishes the word “-teen”, I think… OH FUDGE. (I say fudge, because Mom and Dad read this. Hi parents!)

I’ve never snatched any bar heavier than 85 lbs before. Just get me to the hundo. Maybe adrenaline will get me to PR on the 100lb bar. I HAD DREAMS ABOUT IT.

AFTER “TIME!!!”: FYI… adrenaline wears off after minute 2. 15 minutes too late for my dreams to come true. My goal was to make it to the 100lbs and at least give it a shot. I got there. I gave it a shot twice. I failed twice. At least I tried.

13.2 – Push Press, DL & Box Jumps
My Score: 267 reps. #729 in the Northeast. Movin’ on up!

BEFORE 3-2-1-GO: This doesn’t look so bad…

AFTER “TIME!!!”: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! I red-lined way too fast on my first try, had 252 the first go around. I think half those reps were in the first 4 minutes. Whoooooops. Pace pace pace. That’s what I get for trying to do as many box jumps as possible. As it turns out, stepping onto a 20″ box when you’re 5’9″ isn’t as taxing as jumping onto it is. Nice. 2 days later? Tight shoulders and a pretty sweet 1980’s advanced step aerobics imitation later, I scored 15 reps higher.

13.3 – Karen, DU’s Muscle Ups
My Score: 240 reps. #376 in the Northeast. Really?!

BEFORE 3-2-1-GO: I believe my facebook status read something along the lines of “Hate/Love/YEAH RIGHT”. Waiting all Open long for the one thing I kick ass at that had a prayer of being included (whhhyyy can’t they just include a rower?!) and they bookend it by one of my most disliked movements in all of CrossFit land and the most impossible for someone who’s only been at this shenanigan for 6 months. Thx Castro.

AFTER “TIME!!!”: Well, that was a fun swing along on the rings. I needed divine intervention for a muscle up to happen. It didn’t. There are bigger issues in the world that need attention before my not being able to do a muscle up. Understandable.

I hate wall balls. My legs were so drained I didn’t work out for 2 days after. 15 sets of 10 got me through Karen in 7:42. Okay, so not the best time in the world. However, he DU’s took me a whopping minute and a half. 2 sets of 41 and short one of 8 remaining reps got me done with that part at 9:20. How in the world did I place in the 300’s in a region of 5000+ athletes registered? Guess that persistent hour spent at Trailhead CF back in July hammering out DU’s paid off on the long run.

It’s all in the timing. 90% of the people I see still struggling to get DU’s down appear to be going about them all wrong. Give me a few minutes to explain it a little differently. Odds are, you’re spinning the rope faster than you can jump, and you’re landing like an elephant in lead shoes after your first hop. Please please please let me help you.

OPEN SEASON! How did I not think of that one before?! *Amending blog post title now*

Anyhow, I sit here in the wake of the 13.4 announcement, I’m oddly excited about it. I can get through Grace in a little over 4 minutes, and my grip strength has improved in the past month or so. We’ll see what this brings. I’ve only got one shot to make it happen, and it’s 6:00a on Friday.

13.4 – C&J & T2B
My Score: TBD

BEFORE 3-2-1-GO: Why am I awake so early?! I want to climb back into my bed where it’s so warm and coZzZzZzZ……….y. Cozy.